I Loved … And I Lost Love …

Posted: August 20, 2011 in Uncategorized

Have you ever love and lost somebody and what’s worst … finding out that the person is already married to someone else?

I have … I loved someone so much that I couldn’t stop thinking about him. But I was with somebody else. Greedy … But out of guilt, I did not make any move to approach the person I love. For fear of hurting the person who love me, I let the person I love go away …

When I saw him in Facebook that he had recently gotten married with a lady whom I also know … I was devastated. I cried over and over again feeling remorse and regret.

I now understand why people always say … “When you found someone you love, never let the person go or you will regret it for the rest of your life.”

I’m still with my current partner of course. He loves me deeply … he loves me more than himself … and I love him too. Just that I love the married person more … and I lost it.

Rich Dilemma

Posted: April 5, 2011 in Career & Job, Life

Have you ever wonder how it’s like to be rich?

The question above does sound pretty obvious right? NO. While most people assume that eing rich means having tons of money with them, some, like me, believe that being rich can also means rich in happiness and blessings in life.

It’s true that many would dream of owning lots of money with unlimited amount to spend without worrying of having to work every again. I do dream of that too. Hence I work my butts off like a typical ant among the thousands and millions and billions just to get what I want to earn .. a minimum income.

What I do with that income? I tried my very best to save. Even so, with the economy we’re living in, I find it very hard to save enough to buy a house. Malaysian economy can be very cruel to the younger generations like me. I earn a good amount of RM3800 and yet, I can only save a little. The rest will go to the car, the petrol, the bills, the daily expenses … even entertainment or self indulgence (since I work my butts off .. I deserve a good treat right?) activities.

I recently received an email from a friend. It was just like any other email we receive. The chain mails that tells you a good story and threaten you to send out or you will face consequences in few days.

Who the heck believes such nonsense?

Anyway I never complain receiving them only because some mails have really good stories.

This particular mail caught my eye. The story started with this man (or woman .. I don’t remember) writing about his friend taking a set of lingirie out of his wife’s wardrobe. His friend held it in his hands and showed it to the writer. The friend said, “My wife was saving this for a very special occassion … now … she will never get to use it anymore”. The friend then left the place with the lingirie to attend his wife’s funeral.

The writer then continued by telling everybody how we shouldn’t wait for the right time, because we will never know if the right time will ever come.

Simple story yet very touching. I am unsure if the story is true but the moral behind it is good enough to convince me. I may be good and alive today, blogging, but I may not be around tomorrow. While I work my butts off to earn all I can, to climb the corporate ladder, to be the YES WOMAN to my boss and director, I realise that I am wasting my days away slavering to my company and not giving any moment of precious time for myself to remember.

Who is to blame? Media? World economy? Peer pressures? No. I believe I am to be blamed for not taking time to smell the flowers, to do something that I enjoy most in life.

A colleague once asked me, “When you die, do you carry your money with you? Or do you carry your memories with you?”

Perhaps it is time for me to slow down a little. Take a step back to see the worl trully from my heart and not my eyes.

So to answer my very first question in the first sentence in this post. I know how it feels to be rich. However, I may be rich in salary … but I’m poor in life …